The Little Things
by Shiro6789
Summary: Bleach oneshots in all sizes, with all different sorts of pairings. May be entire crack, or actual legitimate pairings. Includes no yaoi or yuri, or too explicit scenes.
1. A Thing For Me

**Pairing: GgioSuí**

**Title: A "Thing" For Me**

"Hey, princess!" Without even turning around, the black haired girl waved a hand, shooing the owner of the voice away.

"Don't bother me Ggio, I'm not interested."

"Aww, come on! I know you've _got_ to be interested, every other girl is swooning over me like crazy!" Teasingly, Ggio hugged Suí-Fēng from behind.

"W-what? No! I don't like you one bit!" Slightly blushing, Suí-Fēng tried to remove the other teen's arms from around her, to no avail. Ggio grinned playfully.

"Well well, someone's a bit flustered, aren't we?" He leaned in closer, making Suí-Fēng blush even more.

"Wait! No, I—" She broke off in shock as Ggio captured her lips in a swift kiss, before pulling back and smiling widely at her. "How about it, princess? You and me, together?"

Suí-Fēng's hand moved swiftly, making a large slapping sound as she hit Ggio's cheek. "G-get away from me! You creep!" Gathering up her books, she raced out of the room, hiding her tomato red face.

Smiling in pain, Ggio looked on after her dreamily as he rubbed the slap mark on his cheek. "Yup...she definitely has a thing for me..."

* * *

GgioSuí is one of the hetero pairings that I really like—mostly for humor relief, as you can see here. :3

Disclaimer: Bleach doesn't belong to me, because it belongs to Tite Kubo.


	2. Experiment

**Pairing: IshiNemu (or NemuIshi? O.o)**

**Title: Experiment**

"Hmm, yes. It appears that Nemu is ready for you, Ichigo!" Mayuri looked up from his clipboard, smiling creepily at the orange haired shinigami. "Just walk in through the door!"

Uryuu turned to the scientist as Ichigo hesitantly strolled in, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Ahh...what exactly is this experiment about?"

Mayuri hmphed, looking back down at what he'd been writing. "That is not for you to know until it's your t—"

An earsplitting scream came from behind the door, and a moment later Ichigo fell out the doorway, face redder than a ripe tomato (because old wrinkly tomatoes are gross). "Th-that what wh-what? K-k-k-k—" His eyes darted around wildly, before he jumped off the floor and ran out the other door, leaving a worried Uryuu and an interested Mayuri.

"Well, it seems like you'll be finding out soon enough!" Mayuri waved a hand, scribbling notes down on his clipboard. "Go on onthe room now, guinea p—ahem, Quincy!"

Uneasily, Uryuu stepped into the room, hearing the door slam shut behind him. Looking around, the room was rather bare; just a small desk, some open space, a large bed—

Whipping around, Uryuu tried to get out, but rattled the doorknob futilely as it wouldn't turn. "Hehe, you can't leave now! This time the door is locked /properly!/" Mayuri's voice came from the other side of the door. Face growing red, Uryuu turned around to face what was on the bed. Or more accurately, who.

"Ishida-sama..." Nemu lay seductively on the bed, wearing nothing but a towel and a skimpy miniskirt.

"Eeeehh..." Uryuu's face grew even redder, his glasses steaming up. "You don't need to call me—"

"I must call you -sama, Ishida-sama. Mayuri-sama has ordered me to do so, and I cannot disobey." She wriggled around on the bed some, until the towel was barely covering anything at all. "This is the experiment...won't you please come, Uryuu-sama?"

_N-now I know why Kurosaki ran like that..._ Uryuu thought with a sweatdrop. "Uhh..." He stepped closer to the bed awkwardly.

"Come with me, Ishida-sama," Nemu said, grabbing Uryuu's wrist and dragging him closer till he fell on the bed. Flipping herself above him, she smoothly took off her miniskirt in one go, towel already lost earlier. "Why don't you enjoy yourself a bit, Ishida-sama?"

Uryuu's face went completely red as he couldn't help but let his eyes look all over her body. "D-d huh wh–" he stammered out, brain not working. Releasing a little sigh, Nemu grabbed Uryuu's hand, moving it right so it was on her breast, making as if to grope it. "Play with me, Ishida-sama..."

* * *

Mayuri-taichou...you're so evil! XD Making poor Uryuu suffer through all that! And old wrinkly tomatoes are disgusting *yuck face*

Mayuri: Wouldn't most males his age be enjoying the chance to—

Uryuu: Never doing that again...never doing that again... *traumatized*

Ichigo: *aghast* Ishida, you pervert!

Uryuu: I had no choice! It was actually more like her raping me!

Ichigo: *aghast* Ishida, you got raped by a girl!

Uryuu: I can't win... *despair*

Nemu: *secret evil grin*


	3. First Date

"Oh, princess!..."

Suí-Fēng shut her locker with a bang, glaring at the lanky black haired teen standing beside her. "No, no, no! I've told you already and I'll tell you again, Ggio, I am _not_ going on a date with you!" Huffily she turned around, walking away to her next class.

"Oooh, burn..." Apacci's voice came from behind him, as he turned around and saw her standing next to Sung-sun and Mila Rose with a smirk on her face. "She's turned you down so many times I've lost count! What was that, attempt number fifty million?"

Ggio simply smiled, pulling out one of his heart-stopping smiles. "She'll fall for me, you'll see. I know you ladies are just jealous, hmm?"

Sung-Sun blushed, Mila Rose giggled nervously, and Apacci pointed a finger at him in rage, face redder than a tomato. "Y-you!—How dare you—what—"

"Don't worry, ladies!" He winked at them, making Sung-Sun blush even more and leaving Apacci speechless. "Your secret's safe with me!" With that, he bounded off to his next class, leaving the three girls standing frozen in the hallway until the janitor came and told them to "stop practicing their statue poses."

_The next day..._

"Princess!"

"Get out."

_The day after that..._

"Hey, Suí-Suí!"

"Get out of my sight!"

_The day after that..._

"Suí, can you—"

"Leave me alone!"

_A (disturbance-filled, restless for Suí-Fēng) week later..._

"Good morning, princess! Do you—"

Angrily, Suí-Fēng slammed her textbook shut on Ggio's fingers, who held back a yelp of pain. "If I go on a date with you, will you stop annoying me!?"

Tryig to hide his pain, Ggio smiled at her. "I knew you'd give in eventually, princess! How about tomorrow evening meet you at The Place? Kthanksbye!" He skipped out of the room, leaving Suí-Fēng fuming.

_The next evening..._

"Oh, you're finally here, princess! And dressed so beautifully, too!"

Suí-Fēng silently raged, looking vaguely like a cross between a porcupine, an abstract painting and a hobo. In short, an eyesore, but Ggio seemed to not notice this.

"So, princess, what do you—"

"The most expensive things on the menu." Grumpily Suí-Fēng sat down across from Ggio, crossing her arms moodily and staring at a spot on the table.

"No problem! Hey waitress, what're the most expensive things you got here?" Blushing at the attention from such a (handsome, dashing young) fellow, she immediately rushed over and began listing the foods that cost the most. Through it all, Suí-Fēng remained hunched over the table, not looking up.

"So," Ggio said, once he was done ordering. "How's your day been so far, princess?"

"Hrrshfrrrmnnnds..." Suí-Fēng muttered, words almost inaudible. She pulled her hat down lower over her eyes, trying to avoid conversation.

"Oh well, that's too bad." Not speaking, they waited for their food, Ggio just sitting there and staring at Suí-Fēng with a smile on his face while she drummed her fingers on the table, sighing occasionally and wishing for the date to just be /over./

The waitress came over, setting down their food and smiling at Ggio in a flirting way, shooting a dirty glance at Suí-Fēng. "If you need anything else, just raise a hand and I'll come over, alright?"

"Uh-huh, thanks for the food." Ggio didn't even look up at her as he dug into his plate, the waitress stalked away miffed and shot another glare at Suí-Fēng.

"So, how's the food, princess? Is it good enough for you?" Ggio smiled at her, before taking another bite of his meal.

Suí-Fēng picked at her food, before taking a bite. "It's...good," she admitted, shoveling the food down hungrily.

_Later_

Ggio pushed the plate away from him, leaning on his hand and taking a sip of his pomegranate-and-lichee float. "Hey, Suí, did you like it?" He flashed a smile at her, making her pull down her hat even further.

"The...the food was really good...better than you!" she stuttered, sitting back in her seat. "Umm..." She peeked out from underneath the hat. "The bill—"

"I got it." Still smiling, Ggio slapped a credit card down, picking up the pen and signing the little receipt. "Only next time, try to order something less expensive, princess?..."

"There won't be a—"

"Would you like any dessert, or would you like me to refill your drink?" The waitress had flounced over to their table again, smiling at Ggio as she picked up the credit card and receipt. She bent over slightly, purposely exposing her cleavage and letting her hand rest on Ggio's arm in a flirting way. "Or will that be all for you ton—ouch!"

"Stop flirting with him!" Suí-Fēng still held up the hand she'd used to slap the waitress. "It's stupid, ridiculous, and...and...you're too fat and ugly for him anyways!" Angrily she stormed out of the restaurant, leaving a bunch of surprised customers, the shocked waitress, and a smug but apologetic (to the waitress) Ggio.

_Another bit later_

"Someone's jeeeellly..." Playfully, Ggio hugged Suí-Fēng from behind, grinning as he whispered in a sing-song voice.

"Sh-shut up!" Suí-Fēng pushed him away, blushing furiously and trying unsuccessfully to hide it under her hat. "I'm not...I'm not jealous!"

Chuckling, Ggio grabbed her arm, spinning her around into his arms. "Of course you are, princess! You were soooo jealous that the waitress had bigger boobies than you and was flirting with me!"

"Y-you—!" Suí-Fēng spluttered in outrage.

"Hey, Suí, d'you believe in kisses on the first date?"

"Wh-what!?" Blushing, Suí-Fēng squirmed around in Ggio's arms. "What are you—"

Ggio broke her off with a kiss, holding her tightly so she wouldn't run away, grab a jet pack and fly away to Jupiter. A second later she broke the kiss, eyes wide in surprise and face bright red.

"What—you—I don't—umm, I—See you tomorrow!" Finally breaking free, Suí-Fēng sprinted away, jacket flapping as she turned the corner, leaving Ggio standing in the middle of the sidewalk, holding her hat. He sighed dramatically, little hearts of love still floating off of him.

"And the hat smells like her too..."

* * *

Aww...so cute...except for the waitress. Imagine Rangiku, except replace her face with an idiot face and change the hairstyle a bit). Aka, very curvy. Aka, everything I am not (small-chested, tall beanpole Asian—woohoo!). I wanted some more...romantic action in this story, as a result their personalities might've been distorted a bit *awkward face* No worries, right?  
Also apologizing for no updates on _any_ of my stories for...another week? -_- I've barely gotten enough sleep (paranoia—thanks, Slenderman), my fingers hurt for some weird reason (arthritis?...at age 14?...), and I've been proofreading one of my old multi-chaptered stories...All I have to say is, my younger self was a _**completely horrible and sucky writer.**_ I can't even recount how many scenes I've had to retype.../rant  
Ggio and Suí-Suí are such a cute couple! :3

Ggio: ...

Suí-Fēng: We are not! I was never like that! Burn this writing! Burn it!

Shiro: ...It's digital, Suí-Fēng...

Suí-Fēng: Then delete it! Kill it with a virus or something!

Ggio: ...

Shiro: ...


End file.
